she made her way down the familiar street, warily and today she was tense.
she glanced down each side street absently, taking in but not really noticing the trash strewn alleys and graffiti.
Beneath the symbols sprayed on the walls and the stench of piss, beer and poverty lay something much more disturbing. the symptoms - violence, drinking, drugs were all surface results of much deeper problems. her mind skittered carelessly over this reality, she was preoccupied by the gazes following her and nasty energy as she walked and she was absorbed in her own thoughts.
someone hissed some words at her in Spanish and she felt a flood of discomfort wash over her. "fuck you" she mumbled under her breath, staring straight ahead as she strode faster.
she could feel the heat rising to her cheeks, an unpleasant combination of anger, humiliation and other feelings she couldn't describe.
tension had spread through her body, now she was clenching her teeth and fists, cheeks burning, desperately wishing she had worn something less form fitting. she was approaching a group of young men who were talking, laughing leaning against a wall. as soon as their eyes fell on her, they hushed.
"psst, mamacita..."
"hey gorgeous, why you look so mad?"
"lemme talk to you a minute.."
several of them tried to talk to her but her gaze was focused forward and she didn't even glance at them until one guy stepped in her path, stopping her.
he was taller than her, he wore baggy dark clothing, looking clean and polished and he smelled of cologne and lies. he was good looking in a dangerous dishonest way. she stared into his eyes and did not smile.
"get out of my way" her voice was low and serious. a slow, wicked grin spread across his dark, handsome face. he stared back at her, his eyes heavy lidded, reminding her of some devilish animal.
"you forgot to say please" his voice was teasing and despite her defenses and awareness that he was probably a very unsafe person, she found an erotic quality in his eyes, voice and movements.
they stood for a few moments, locked in a staring battle and for both of them, the world around them fell away. she held her ground and he held his.
finally, she spoke again. "I need to get by. will you move now?" her voice came out gentler than she intended so she tried to compensate by folding her arms against her chest and attaining what she hoped was a tougher stance.
he seemed amused by her and stayed put. testing her limits. she tried to push past him but he blocked her, "ok this is not cute, let me go" her voice was serious again and panic edged. would he hurt her? a voice in her said he might, but might not...he laughed softly and stepped aside.
she started to move forward but he grabbed her arm. "what the fuck?" she said sharply. she was about to scream when all his friends who had been standing around watching them disappeared behind the corner, leaving her alone with this man. his grip tightened on her arm and his eyes never left her face.
there was nobody else on the street and she felt like her vocal cord had been cut. she tried to yell for help but all that came out was a tiny gasp. her gaze darted around wildly but she was intensely aware of his eyes and slow grin. suddenly she relaxed. her muscles went loose and her expression shifted into a calm one. she thinks-- he wants fear, so I won't give that to him. he pulls her onto a side street.
"I knew you wanted to be alone, I can tell by how you look at me." she did not respond. 'play dead' she thought.
her eyelids hardly fluttered. his hands moved toward her when, quick as a flash, her knee went straight to his crotch, he doubled over, groaning. she kicked him with all her strength and her fists pounded him. he couldn't speak, she found her voice.
"Don't you ever try this with another woman, do you hear me, you fucking coward?"
her voice was razor edged, her stance rock solid. "if you ever hurt me or get in my space uninvited or that of any other woman, I will put a curse on you that will make you wish you were dead"
her adrenaline was pumping and she knew she better get away fast. within, seconds, she disappeared behind the corner.
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