Saturday, April 4, 2020

Go easy

rain curves around edges
pathways of water
make a way
that is what we do
we make a way
for friendship to get fertilized
for love to get realized
dreams sift in through window
panes of glass
with imagined density and mass
what are we
if not dreams on their way
to another method of play
sort me out
 of this mess
so many urgent issues
to address
what is that feeling
 that sends you reeling
How am I to find you today
amidst all the fray?
I plead with gods and goddesses
 to be gentle with creations' clay
its time to go easy on us
any other way
will not suffice
 would not be nice

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Purposes

It doesn't always start with a big revelation. It may not start with someone else's words. It can be subtle, it can move in slowly toward your heart, your solar plexus. And yes, generally it builds in intensity, becomes something you want to and can articulate. It is your life purpose, or the summary of all life purposes you embody at that time.

Hopefully you have or you will feel this. When I get triggered to acknowledge or share life purposes, I feel this building up of energy and sense of true self. I share it privately or on social media. I tie it all into the currents of what is happening now.

What are my purposes? Some are simple, some are multi dimensional. The most obvious one is letting love teach me, and lead me. I aim to be a personification of Love in a public and private way. There are more sides to the picture, there is more depth than people may realize, but Love is truly the law in my view.

Within that law are guidelines. There are ways to behave and respond and react and how to project energy and when and with what intentions. There are ways to simply be, allowing others to simply be. I learn this from within my own consciousness/soul. I am taught by the Great Mystery/Spirit/God/Goddess within. I embrace teachings that resonate with my inner truth and experiences. I never stop learning. I work at being humble.

Sometimes humility is still present even when I am owning a powerful version of me. It can seem contradictory but in fact, the humility tempers and compliments the powerful stance. It all depends on how you see power. I work to embody powerful stances by being fully myself, owning what it means to be me, not at all to tell others who to be or what to do. We all have a lot of toxic associations with authority and power due to White Supremacist Patriarchy. We really do.

I see the undoing of that power structure being done in many ways. One way is fully owning who you are and taking up the space you need without getting in anyone else's way to do the same. If that were really happening more, huge transformation would happen. We simply do not have much practice doing this in peaceful, effective ways.

In fact, power and peace are often not thought of as compatible because we have not seen the two stances modeled together in an authentic and lasting way. It is not just idealistic to think that this can happen. We need it to happen to make the changes needed to ensure the species will continue.

In all honesty, sometimes I think Earth would be better off without us. I admit my cynical feelings are very strong in some moments. Then, I get on board with the hope and truth that we will have a new world that we are creating and that is for sure possible. I am inspired by others all the time, whose hope and optimism can very well surpass my own. I know we can do what we need to do. Let your purposes guide you. Search for meaning and possibility. I will be right there with you.

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

we are stars

some days you will remember
some days you will forget
you were full of truth
and I was dripping wet

life spread out like maps
or scraps
of paper on the floor
he calls himself an artist
so we call him that too
she calls herself a dreamer
but then so do you

ten thousand miles of road
stretching so far
If I look real close
I can see exactly who you are
traveling down this road
coming ever closer to you
starting to remember
what deep down you always knew

we are temporary beings
destined for the grave
all you know turns to dust
with only your soul to save
but clearly we are stars
manifest in earthly form
training for the heavens
seeking shelter from the storm

Thursday, June 20, 2019

New Energy Shift

So I had terrible insomnia night before last. And yet, I felt like Spirit hit the Re- Set button on my energy body. It was like a spontaneous release and upgrade!

I find that there is great balance in my life now, I have become more peaceful.

Spirit responds to my changes by giving and taking in a balanced way. As a result of the increased peace, I enjoy the Universal response which is increased protection, increased guidance and this leads to release of what no longer serves, and more!

Saturday, June 8, 2019

Pride Month 2019

I am ready to come out finally. I have settled on a description of my sexual orientation which is no small thing. I have been in phases where I have no idea how to identify. I have called myself straight but I felt that was not right, since I have had enough sexual encounters with women to know I am more than just curious. I just never found the right woman to be with, romantically.

For a long time I felt that I could have sex with a man or a woman but I only wanted to be with men in relationships and that I only "fell in love" with men. So, that is straight, right?? Then I realized that it was internalized homophobia that stopped me from being open to having a girlfriend.

It is easier to rationalize a hook up with a girl than to look deeper at the fact that I am actually demi -sexual (my attractions are based on getting deeply emotionally close with people) So this means that it is more important to me that I can form deep emotional and spiritual bonds with someone than that they have this or that gender assignment! I have had relationships with women that go very deep but do not become sexual and I have had sexual encounters with women that did not go deep at all. It has kind of been all over the map!

I am truly interested in and attracted to the ones who will go deep with me and without that, I am going to lose interest very quickly. I experimented a whole lot with guys to know this was true all across the board. Male or female, I want to go deep. Male or female, I am attracted to intelligence, and that adds this piece to the puzzle. I am sapiosexual. That makes 3 labels on this situation. Bisexual, Demisexual, Sapiosexual. Quite the summary, yes? I think I will be able to identify with these 3 words for a very long time, they capture enough about this complex orientation situation.

Now, since I married a man, I get a lot of straight privilege. It is all well and good to come out on the internet but when I move in the world with my husband, we get straight privilege everywhere we go. There is nothing to be done about that except to acknowledge that because I married into a straight and not a lesbian relationship, I am not visible as Queer. I have mixed feelings about that because I want to always be in solidarity with my fellow LGBTQ folks. Since people assume I am straight, they often assume a level of homophobia is going on too. I can feel that. I despise that.

I grew up with a bisexual mother. She divorced my father when I was 10 and had a number of lesbian relationships after that. While I did not always like the people she chose, I always loved her and wanted her to be free to be herself. Since my mom is Queer and even participated in the SF Pride Parade, I knew about the ugliness of homophobia early on. I am not sure whether this made me less or more wary of living my authentic expression of self regarding my own queerness, but I am grateful to her for modeling that critical way of being true to herself. She is strong and amazing and I am so glad I saw that amazing strength lived out in a real way, 

In the meantime, I can live authentically and speak out for protection of my fellow LGBTQ people and support the fight for the rights fellow Queer folks deserve, the right to marry being just one right among many. Happy Pride Month, 2019!!

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Silent Fingers

maybe her life was a comedy of errors

what rules dictated anything within the hours of her days?
what tiny stars shined light that bled through
the purple blue black blanket
of the sky
to show her they way? what was the way?
why had she been put into the form of a body
-such a primitive vehicle-
more times than she could count or remember?
what place can she hold
secretly between silent fingers
turning bright silver into gleaming gold?



-Imaya, 2015

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Choice

every life is a unique expression of a multitude of energies. while this is true, much is being said about abortion, control and the right to choose. when I was little, my stroller had a sticker on it that said, "every child, a wanted child" and I learned about that early. the violence of forcing a woman to bring a pregnancy to term that she does not want or is not ready for is an unspeakable kind of violence. visiting this upon women and girls is atrocious and criminal. advocating for the unborn over the woman who would give birth makes so little sense it makes my head spin.