knowing and seeing

there are those moments that hit you when you realize that which was defining you no longer serves you in any way and sometimes people show up so clearly in your mind and you think how could you have ever not seen them that way, seen them with that clarity but there they are glistening with the appearance that had eluded you before and wanting to see people clearly is a desperate need at times and at other times you are trying hard not to see them preferring a selective blindness to the pain of knowing and seeing and knowing and seeing are all you can handle sometimes and at other times you will be using all of your senses to sense as much as you can about whoever crosses your path but maybe you want to be numb at some point maybe you want to be separate but u can never be that because all of your needs and desires are tied into other peoples needs and desires and you cannot exist in some independent space without serious consequences to at least your mental health if not physical health and needing people is one of these things that we fight but there is no getting around it no matter what you do no matter what you think no matter what you say and that is the reality until you leave this world