Cauldron

 from 2002--

something bubbled up in me

so so so close to the boiling point

it spilled all over

scalding permanent irreversible 

it has bubbled up, boiled over and is spreading

its scorching fingers

graze my surface, 

the contact instantly turning me to ashes to dust

better to be without

better to be within

better without him

better within me without him

whisper scream in silent dream

a ritual call and response

is the flutter of heart to lips 

and the necessary words spoken, bonds broken

while repair begins within

simply plain once again

better without him. 

\\\

Patience

from 2002-- 

When the situation grows too intense

my mind defers to my heart, I think

Oh no, don't start

Please do not allow this to become

 another hum drum

self inflicted drama.

I am not ready for it and I never will be

There is a difference between internal and external

conflict, and there is more than meets the eye

when it comes to that difference

because external produces internal

causes external 

spiraling all over the map

until you ask yourself which came first?

until you hear the clap

of thunder or your focus being pulled under

by details

like loud splashing raindrops on the sun roof 

like damn I have no proof

that when it is all over

I will have been right

or you were always wrong

what's the line from that song?

I always quote someone else

when my mind defers to my heart

because my mind was never able to recall\

the emotion we recorded

that night in bed, I must have hit my head

and your hands spun out of control

my frantic questions and fears were swallowed along with

unshed tears

collected painfully through the years

so then I am detached I suppose, unfastened

while you gently close 

my eyelids with the tips of your beautiful fingers

And I press my lips together thinking

Oh no don't start

while I consciously allow my mind to 

defer to my heart

perhaps it is better this way

I think I want you to stay. 

Hold up a mirror

 If I could, I would take this poem and lay it gently

over your eyes until your pain subsided

I would take sound and work it with my fingers like clay

until you could hear the breath and heartbeat of earth

I would shape light into healing

and spread it over your skin, let it seep into your bones

let it hold you in safety

so you could feel that you are filled with love

protected from all harm

I would hold up a mirror

that reflected the divinity within you

to give you an image of true self

unmasked, pure, sacred

we could walk in beauty

until mortal flesh became dust

and our bones were buried in silence

and the wind could carry our voices

through all the lands. 

Don't scatter the medicine

 from 2003--

I covet the dream of us 

guard it closely, intently

and who we shall pray with

is a select few

Don't scatter the medicine

like you would scatter the ashes of 

an unwanted memory

Be true, be free and 

as long as this is worthy

I shall covet our dream

cover it with my velvet night sky body

allow the glowing stars 

to guide our movement within

the bigger dream

the moon was watching

the trees saw it all

Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine Energies

 Most folks realize that men can have feminine energy and vice versa. Feminine energy is less dense, more celestial. Masculine energy is more earthy, animalistic. Feminine energy is quicker and brighter, like shooting stars. Masculine energy is clunkier, more tangible and deliberate. 

Feminine energy has purpose and intention of course, but it moves more quickly with softness and intensity intertwined. This is not about body parts, it is about energy. So, it should not be hard to understand why trans folks feel the way they do about gender identity. A trans person may feel more fem. or masculine or neither or both! From an energetic perspective it is not hard to see and relate!

All of us have a combination of gender energies. One is often predominant but not always. This assessment is just one opinion and I am open to other ideas of gender energy and presentation of each.

I have felt more feminine and other times more masculine, meaning, more action driven. But the feminine energy makes me more receptive, and able to hold space. It is hard to explain but it is worth trying to articulate. 

Divine feminine energy is associated with deep compassion, nurturing, receptivity, freedom to be authentic, comfort and peace, power from within, love, protection and more. 

Divine Masculine energy is associated with protection, taking action, directing energy toward a goal, peace and compassion, high frequency of love, honoring the truth of genuine expression and more. 

As you see, there are overlap between the two because the divinity holds certain powers and associations. Divinity itself has no gender. Many understand that God has no gender. Gender is experienced by people as a social construct. There are no right or wrong ways to express gender no matter who you are. It is my prayer that we awaken to this and put an end to discrimination and other damaging attitudes and actions against those who wish to be free to identify however they wish.

There are many more related issues I will not be getting into for this post but I may touch on them later on. Many cis-gendered women have problems with how to define women's only space because of trans presence in their midst. Without getting into it here, I will say that this can be worked out peacefully and respectfully to all who wish to find connection with like minded folks. We can be kind and create spaces for folks of all walks of life and ways of identifying. It just takes some awareness, compassion and commitment.