Patience

from 2002-- 

When the situation grows too intense

my mind defers to my heart, I think

Oh no, don't start

Please do not allow this to become

 another hum drum

self inflicted drama.

I am not ready for it and I never will be

There is a difference between internal and external

conflict, and there is more than meets the eye

when it comes to that difference

because external produces internal

causes external 

spiraling all over the map

until you ask yourself which came first?

until you hear the clap

of thunder or your focus being pulled under

by details

like loud splashing raindrops on the sun roof 

like damn I have no proof

that when it is all over

I will have been right

or you were always wrong

what's the line from that song?

I always quote someone else

when my mind defers to my heart

because my mind was never able to recall\

the emotion we recorded

that night in bed, I must have hit my head

and your hands spun out of control

my frantic questions and fears were swallowed along with

unshed tears

collected painfully through the years

so then I am detached I suppose, unfastened

while you gently close 

my eyelids with the tips of your beautiful fingers

And I press my lips together thinking

Oh no don't start

while I consciously allow my mind to 

defer to my heart

perhaps it is better this way

I think I want you to stay.