dissolve it all

coming back to the very singular present moment
she finds all the fleeting thoughts
like wisps of smoke around her head
her limbs all feel like lead
today
what is leading her now
what is feeding her now
leaking energy from chakras she does not exactly know how to identify
and there never does seem to be a verification process
that these big questions can go through to get to answers,
so that all you seek can be verified to exist,
and maybe these existential and other
philosophical wanderings and wonderings
will someday add up to an understanding
or over standing and I say why don't you

take my hand and let us lean
over the railing
from there
holding hands and laughing until becoming
nearly hysterical
my first time my first kiss
it all rushes back to me
the people in my life that made me into me
the experiences
that chiseled my consciousness into the
statuesque and incredible city of endless
sounds and proclamations
I now identify it to be
when I sit
and dissolve that which
is considered to be me
dissolve that which is considered
to keep me from being free
dissolve that which holds me
in chains I cannot see

so that omnipotent agreement I had with all my selves from the start
can shine through my actions
and there will be no more mistaking or forsaking
or faking
through
the dissolution of it all
in order to
master the art of the fall
the rebuilding
and the unspeakable doors to
death
life
rebirth and beyond
all that
beyond all that........