1.
Moving the constant debris
of mind emotion clutter out of the way
I listen for a calm
I listen for a storm
these legs are tired of being touched
by your lovingly told lies
my words have been drained now
of their original power
my unrehearsed lines are like
cries sent out to already thunderous skies
that mirror a discontent you cannot imagine
my arms reach out into a hopeful arch
then I am leaning back into temporary retreat
and a form of defeat
so many private moments
locked away from you
and why do I call this tangled mess of strong feelings "love?"
and why do you always seem to respond with the same twisted longing?
I become familiar with making Everything Fine
yes, Everything is Fine.
2.
If I love you
I will be with you
If I trust you
I will be spreading my heart thin
around the razor edge of these decisions
If I give you more of my truth
I will suffer, maybe grow stronger
If I love you I will share my body, my bed, my fears
all the precious intangibles
And if you love me, you will honor what I am offering
not with your words
but through your actions
I learn quickly to swallow the ferocious thoughts
and become new again
If I love you
I become new again.
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