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The Surprise Factor

Chapter One. “Justifications”

Joshua had always felt somewhat exempt from the rules. He could fully understand, and he knew why most rules existed. He wasn’t dim witted. He was well liked at school and teachers often used him as an example when talking about behavior. He knew how to behave.

Lurking below the surface, though, of Joshua’s exterior, were some very shady habits, if you will. He carried some ill- advised intentions, but only in some cases. Josh would rationalize to himself that what he did was ok, good in fact, the way he saw it, because his escapades interrupted the zombie like effect materialism has on people.

When he got away with his shenanigans, he felt that was the Universe, or God even, justifying his actions and telling him that what he did was fine, because it was him, and The Universe or God, understood his exceptional methods for helping to free people from their materialistic fervor.

When he got caught, which, on occasion he did, although rarely since his skills were high above average, he would simply tell himself there was interference that had nothing to do with his life, but these things happen, and it would not deter him in the least.

“We all have our guilty pleasures,” thinks Josh to himself, calmly. “Mine have some cost attached, like whatever the cost of the package was of course, and the disappointment and confusion of the person who loses the package.” Josh was realistic about the impact his sneaky little habit had on other people.

However, Josh simply could not stop himself most times he walked by the houses in his neighborhood and saw the vulnerable, seductive, tempting pieces of other peoples’ property. He reasoned that these houses were big and most people in them had more than their fair share of material possessions. He did not fancy himself a Robin Hood character, since he did not give the results of his efforts to the poor. No, Josh would usually keep them. On a rare occasion, he would come across something that was perfect as a gift for his mother or sister.

 In those cases, he would proudly present the item to the person he cared for, and he truly lacked remorse because he saw how happy the gifts would make them.

As the months passed, Joshua got better and better at his thievery, or as he called it, his acts of liberation. Since he was a good student, he could often word the situation at hand in such a way that pleased his mind, and soothed whatever rebel feelings in his heart arose, quieting them so he could continue his treacherous path.

Still, just around the bend, was something even talented, well behaved Josh was not prepared for, and did not see coming.

Chapter 2.  “Let me go!”

Josh had gotten very good at timing his little escapades onto the front porches and sometimes over the front gates of houses, because he knew when the UPS and other package delivery service trucks were due to pass through his neck of the woods.

What Josh was not counting on was that there was another person in his area, who had been peeking through his curtains watching Josh’s every move. He was well aware of the mischief Josh had gotten himself into. Yet, this person’s interest was not simply aroused because he thought what Josh was doing was wrong, it was aroused because he admired what Josh was doing. Odd that this was, he knew he was getting close to catching up with the thief not to persecute or accuse him, but to join with him. He wanted in on the action. Isn’t there always someone who does?

Josh was blissfully unaware of this and he persisted almost daily, to see what he could plunder from his neighbors. One day, he was just beginning to get going on his rounds and he walked down a familiar street, enjoying pounding the pavement in the relative quiet of his surroundings. Nobody was around, as usual, which he thought was quite awesome, for his purposes.

All of a sudden, he heard footsteps behind him. His heart skipped a beat and he moved to look behind him. The person following was too quick and before Josh knew what was happening, the man had Josh’s wrists pulled behind his back. He was bent over and stopped and could barely think, this all happened so fast.

“Let me go”, Josh tried to yell, but his voice came out almost like a whisper. The man laughed and said quietly into Josh’s ear. “And why should I let you go?”, He was stronger than Josh and the struggle for who was overpowering who became clear, and Josh felt powerlessness for the first time in his relatively short life. The man said to him, “I know what you do, I have been watching. How long you think you could keep up that dance before someone catches on and catches up to you for your reckoning?”

Josh was still being held tightly, and he managed to say, “I have no idea what you are talking about” which made the man laugh once more, this time with bitterness.

“There is one way I will let you go and not report you to the police or punish you in any number of ways. You must continue as you have been doing but bring all that you steal to my house and I will decide what you get to keep, but don’t get excited,” the man said with amusement in his voice, “it won’t be much.”

Josh had to think quickly. He was still being held by this ridiculously strong and scary man, but he did not want to lose his prizes! “Umm….ok…ok, “ Josh begins to stammer, “I will bring you what I find.”

“There we go” the man softened his tone but not his grip on Josh. “I knew you would see it my way.”

End Chapter 2.

Chapter 3. “Secrets and a Nightmare”

After a few moments of silence, the man threw Josh down to the pavement and he hit it at an angle, causing a sharp pain in his left arm.

He looked up at this stranger, seeing the man’s face for the first time. He was older than Josh by a few decades and he had a scar running from his forehead down to his chin. His eyes were bright with amusement and his lips curled into a sneer as he looked down at Josh.

Now that the initial shock from being assaulted was wearing off, Josh was just starting to feel afraid. He fought back tears, realizing that this man now had control over Josh’s formerly private thief game.

The man stared at him, and spoke again. “I live in that house,” he said pointing across the street at a modest looking home with a very green front lawn.

“I will expect my first package tomorrow. And I know where you live, Joshua. There is no escape.” He stated the words plainly, as a matter of fact.

Josh briefly noted that the man knew his name, which made the whole situation that much creepier and mysterious. How long had he been watching? Does he know Josh’s loved ones? How much danger is he in? All these thoughts and more skittered across his mind.

Josh adjusted quickly to his new reality. In essence, he now had a boss. He was scared of his boss. He lived with his parents and could not leave, he was still in high school. He began to plan for this new chapter of his life, and as he thought about it, the man had already walked away, back to his home.

Josh did not even know the man’s name. He wanted to call out to him and ask questions, but he didn’t.

The man closed his door behind him. Josh stood up and brushed himself off. He quickly began to move toward his home, feeling like he had woken up in a bad dream.

Back at home, Josh pondered his options. He had kept his escapades from his family and he was now feeling the weight of this secret pressing down on him. He realized if he had been assaulted and was not being held hostage for his thief skills, he could tell someone and get help. He was backed up against a wall. That night Josh stayed mostly awake, haunted by the incident that happened earlier and the implications of his predicament.

Morning came, and with it, the dread that Josh felt knowing what he had to do. He got dressed and drank coffee, before anyone else was up. He knew a few delivery trucks dropped off packages early and he wanted to get this over with as soon as he could.

He left the house and darted quickly over to the street he knew would be a good target that particular day. Sure enough, the house he suspected would have one, had a package lying in plain sight. He checked all around him, the coast was clear. He swooped in and grabbed it, taking off and darting around the corner, trying to catch his breath.

He was more tense than usual and wished more than anything that he had never even stolen to begin with. He wished he was that good person everyone seemed to think he was. He wished he had started volunteering to tutor other kids after school, instead of ripping off innocent bystanders and getting hooked on finding out what was in these stolen packages.

He held the package in his sweaty hands, and he caught his breath, only to feel that dread settle into his stomach upon remembering he had to take this package to that awful man. He took a deep breath and rose to his feet.

A few minutes later, he was standing in front of the man’s house, staring at the door, package in hand. He figured the man wasn’t awake yet, since it was still very early for most people. He walked up to the house, placing the package right in front of the door. He rang the bell and knocked, then he turned and ran as fast as he could down the block and around the corner.

He stood there against the wall, heart pounding, convincing himself he had done what was asked, no more and no less. Now, he would wait, but that was the last package he would steal until he knew how this episode had gone, and whether the man would accept his offering, or want more from Josh. He could not imagine what else the man could want from him or how committed he was to getting Josh to do all this dirty work. All Josh could do now, was wait.

End Chapter 3.

Chapter 4 “How could it happen?”

Josh was thrashing about in his bed, sleeping and suffering from a terrible nightmare. It was one of those nightmares where everything felt so real and he could not tell what was fake and what the dangers really were.

The man with the scar on his face appeared. He was still sneering at Josh. He said, carelessly, “You know you want to find out what was in that package. You know you can’t wait. “A few moments later, Josh was sitting in front of the opened package and with a sinking feeling, he realized this was the worst decision he could have made. There was heroin inside this box and now he was involved. He rushed to destroy the evidence and felt sick about it.

Once he was sure he had cleaned it all up, he woke up abruptly, in his own room. Shivering, even though it was not cold, he realized he had just seen part of the future. That man who assaulted him was not real. No, that part had been a dream. And the package with the heroin, that was his dream warning him that if he continued this path, he would turn into the man with the scar. He had been visited by a version of himself from the future, a cynical, violent version of himself who wanted to be part of a stolen drug operation.

As Josh lay in his bed, working this out in his mind, separating the real from the dream world, he finally felt a tiny sense of relief. Everything was not lost. He could still turn this around.

He thought in silence. “How could I have let it get this bad already? My conscience is eating me alive. It is not that bad to steal packages, but where will this lead me? I have already seen glimpses of my own future and it would get ugly fast.”

Josh was at a crossroads. He needed guidance and he knew it. But where was this guidance going to come from?

End Chapter 4.

Chapter 5. “A new presence”

The school day had just finished and Josh was leaving the main school building not sure where his next destination would be, he did not want to go straight home. A few of his friends asked if he wanted to head over to the bleachers by the football field to hang out and drink, but that did not appeal to him so he told them he would catch up with them later.

They parted ways and Josh began to head down the street. He felt absent minded and out of sorts, which was not like him. His feet were deciding where to take him and strolled into the little park a block and a half away from his school. The park was pretty much empty and that pleased Josh. He had little energy for anyone at the time, or so he thought.

He was sitting on the bench, contemplating the dreams he had been having and their intersection with the stealing that had come to be so second nature to him. He did not want to give it up, but this internal wrestling over what it would make him become was dreadful. A cold breeze made him look up at the tree above him, and he thought what he felt was a simple gust of wind. Yet, seemingly out of nowhere, a young man stood in front of Josh and smiled at him.

Josh was taken aback, he had never seen this person and how had they been so stealthy that he had heard nothing until the guy was right in front of him?

For a few moments, the two just looked at each other. The man had a pleasant expression and his energy seemed a bit sad and formal.

Then he spoke.

“Excuse me, I did not mean to startle you. I am just getting into town, and I wondered, can you tell me how to get to the 8^th Street Memorial Hotel? I thought it was around here, but now I think it could be further downtown from here.”

Josh paused, feeling that something about this person was drastically familiar but he could not place why or how and knew he had never met him.

Josh responded, “You just need to walk 4 blocks to the left and 6 blocks down Grove street and you will see it. You can’t miss it.”

The man nodded. “Thank you so much for your help. Is there any way I can be of assistance to you now?”

Josh looked at him with confusion all over his face.

“Man, all I did was give you directions. It is not the kind of help that generally calls for repayment. It is a standard interaction.” Josh shakes his head and grins at the man.

“I understand, but I am offering a new level of interaction because, though we just met, I know that you are worthy of it.”

Josh looks down, avoiding the gaze of this stranger. “You don’t know me, man. Don’t go around making assumptions, “he says quietly.

The man sits down on the bench, a comfortable distance away. “The truth is,” the man begins, “I did not only need directions and if that was all I needed I could have found a map or asked any number of other people. I found you, though and I asked you. Do you not see what that means?”

Josh shook his head, “No.”

A few more moments passed.

“I arrived to be of service to you at a time when you are struggling with some very hard questions.”

Josh felt his heart beat faster as he started to get afraid of who this man was and what his intentions were. Did he know more about him than any regular stranger would? Should he be on his guard?

Josh began to stand up and move like he was going to leave. The man spoke calmly, and with kindness. “You need not fear me; I am not here to harm you. In time, you will understand my role in your life, or what my role could be, but for now, just know you can trust I mean no harm. I seek to bring clarity to dark places.”

Something made Josh sit back down. Something told him this person was unlike anyone else he knew, in a good way and he could trust what he was saying. The man was speaking directly to a place in Josh that had called out, that was desperate, that needed strength. Josh had been wondering who was going to show him what real strength was, what it meant to be strong.

Chapter 5; Part 2 “From the same line”

What Josh did not know and would not know for a long time, was that this was an Ascended Ancestor. This means that this man had been a person, he had lived and died and the form he took that day he first spoke to Josh was one the Creator helped him form, in order to show Josh that he was descended from this man. The person was from the lineage of Josh’s mother. That was why Josh felt the strong familiarity, and could not understand why.

Another way you could identify him was to say he was a Guardian Angel. These terms are good ones but they do not stretch around the whole picture to show what is possible when a Guardian Ancestral spirit is really allowed into your heart space while you are suffering, and the incredible way this spirit can lift the pain or confusion or anger or whatever plight the living human is facing.

Chapter 6: “Planes of Existence”

Josh was home in bed, exhausted from his day. All he knew was, this person he met seemed more like a dream than the man who assaulted him. Yet, he knew the man was real and the violent man was from the astral plane. This was getting too confusing. He knew how to calm his nerves. He would steal a few packages the next day and quit after that, how bad was one more time? What difference would it make?

And with that thought, he drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, he got ready for school early and planned to hit up a few spots he knew would likely have new packages, fresh and ready in their brown paper or red and white paper, all different sizes. He could hardly wait. He convinced himself this would be the last time.

To his great surprise, when he started out his front door, the man from the day before was walking right up to the driveway of his house. He still had a formality about him and a kind of sadness, but also a sense of wisdom. Josh was picking up on all of this and he was speechless as the man approached.

The man smiled warmly and openly at Josh.

“Thank you for letting me know how to get to that Hotel. I found their accommodations quite satisfactory.” He sounded genuine and Josh decided to go along with the pleasant tone.

“It was no problem. I grew up around here and I can tell you how to get to most places in the area,”

Josh smiled back at him. “What did you say your name was?” Josh inquired, with curiosity.

The man paused, as if he needed to consider his answer. “My name is Thomas Matthews. Please call me

Tom.”

Josh nodded, “Well, Tom,” he said, “I need to get going now.”

Tom spoke again with a more serious tone now. “I’d like to talk with you first, if you don’t mind. Perhaps we can walk to the park where we chatted yesterday.”

Josh glanced back and forth and all around him, as if looking to escape. He knew he could decline, but his curiosity was getting the best of him and if this conversation cut into his time to steal, he could always find packages later. He wanted to find out what Tom was doing there, and why he was interested in Josh at all.

“Ok, let’s walk.” Josh agreed to go on this adventure.

Once they arrived, they sat on the same bench, a good distance apart. Tom spoke quietly, “You can tell me about the packages. I know that you have been considering quitting the habit, but you are struggling with what to do instead.”

Josh was quiet. The mysterious Tom also knew about this habit of his, just like the violent man had. Yet, this time, Josh was not being threatened, only encouraged to talk about it. He wasn’t sure he should discuss it. Was Tom undercover? What was his motivation? Josh was silently wondering all of this.

“I only want your happiness and safety, Josh. I have not told anyone nor will I, since I am not here to make it harder on you.” Tom reassured him.

Josh glanced over at Tom. It felt like he was reading his mind. Josh had mixed feelings about this.

Josh began to speak, openly. “I felt like I was liberating people from their materialism.” Once he spoke this aloud he realized it sounded silly. He did not care, he needed to get this off of his chest. “I had to take them sometimes because I was so curious about what they had inside, and I was good at getting away with it.”

“Josh, I am going to tell you something. It is just information, but it might be hard to hear, and even harder to believe.”

Josh said nothing. He realized this moment was critical and had an odd sense that the air between them would feel differently after Tom told him what he was going to tell him.

“Long ago, there was a people who lived not far from here. They practiced a peaceful way of life. They lived off of the land and they were content. One day, some strangers came to this quiet village. They had a violent mind set and chose to cause great harm to the people of this village. They stole all that they could from this village, took a few of the women and children with them and finally, they burned the village to the ground. Many years after the fact, a family lived in a fairly modern building, built over the bones and wreckage of this ancient village. The daughter in the family found a place where there seemed to be a natural division in one part and another part of the land her family lived on. The natural separation was actually a stream, which ran clear for most of the year, which delighted the daughter. Telling nobody, the daughter decided to build a bridge so she could walk across and find out what lay beyond the stream as a dividing element. Once she had finished the bridge, and walked over it, she felt a strange chill in her bones, and never understood why. “

Tom paused at this point in the story and he looked off into the distance.

“What happened then?” Josh was fascinated. This was unlike any story he heard in school. He had to hear more.

Tom continued, but quietly, and Josh had to lean in a bit to hear him.

“The daughter is your great grandmother, and the bridge she built had more than one purpose, but she did not know it. The daughter was descended from people who had lived in the peaceful village. With her energy and intention, she built a bridge from the place and people that had been harmed to the place and people who had caused the harm. The violent ones had stolen so much, and done so much damage that on the other side of the bridge the daughter could still feel the anger and confusion over what had happened to that quiet village. So, Josh, your desire to steal from the people around you, and your struggle with whether that is ok for you to do, means you are on one particular side of that bridge.”

Tom looked at Josh, directly, in a way he had not yet done. Josh saw the many layers of emotion that this story contained. In the gaze, he saw his own pain over what he was doing, and also the selfishness that made him continue despite having a conscience. He understood. He was on the wrong side of his great grandmothers’ bridge.

Josh opened his mouth to ask a question, but his voice came out shaky and childlike.

“H..h..how do I cross back to the other side of great grandmothers’ bridge?”

End Chapter 6.

Chapter 7. “Remember this”

Tom was looking off into the distance when Josh asked him how to cross the bridge.

Tom’s mood had shifted, he was more distant, yet still polite. He seemed as if he were searching for the right words to share with Josh and he was not yet ready to speak.

Josh knew he could ask Tom questions, so he went ahead, gathered his courage and asked, “Is Great Grandmother angry with me for what I have done? Can she hear me? Can you talk to her?”

Tom shook his head. “No. She is not angry, she is worried. She can see that you struggle and she wants to tell you that all you need you have inside you.”

Josh had heard people say things like this before and it always sounded too simple, too good to be true.

He changed the subject abruptly. “Is the bridge there now? Can I locate it? You said it was a little way from here? Where exactly?”

Tom smiled a little and said, “It is not that kind of bridge. It did not show up in the physical reality that Great Grandmother lived in. In fact, a woman in her era would not have had access to the tools needed for a bridge to be put into the physical plane. She remembered how to create a bridge using her magical imagination and her inner powers, ones that had been handed down to her mother to daughter and so on and so forth. She could see the bridge in her minds’ eye, it was perfect and sturdy. It was made of cherry oak wood and metal and when she saw it, she could feel herself move toward it, even run across it. She could jump up and down on it, and it did not ever break!” Tom looked pleased as he shared this part of the story.

Josh frowned. “How am I supposed to get across this bridge then, if isn’t even real?”

Tom chuckled to himself, aware that Josh was frustrated.

Tom asked with an air of amusement, “Who says her bridge was not real?”

Josh sighs with exasperation. “Man, now you just sound a little off. I mean, it was in her minds’ eye, right? I was listening, you know. I did not miss any of this. I just want to know because lately I had some trouble with a package, yes I know you know that I steal them, and it had some hard drugs in it….”

Josh trailed off, getting scared again about how much he was revealing.

Tom looked at Josh in the eyes again, and somehow this calmed Josh down. He felt oddly safe when he was with Tom. He was still guarded in some ways, but he did feel safe.

“That part of your adventure has not happened yet. It is just around the corner.”

“A real corner?” Josh rolls his eyes. “Or a corner in my minds’ eye?”

Tom chuckled again. “Now, we are getting somewhere.”

End Chapter 7.

Chapter 8. “Candle light”

Tom looked over at Josh and saw he was getting restless. “If you want to go to school now, you might want to get going. Is there a class you need to be in right now?”

Josh shrugged. “The semester is almost over and I aced all my finals. They have my grades, but they still want us to show up. I think it’s lame.”

Tom nodded, following up with, “It is your choice now. I would not keep you from your commitments but if you choose to break them, I would not try to influence you either way. All of this has to come from you, the decision to follow rules or break them. Some rules make sense to you and you follow them without really thinking. Other rules are tricky, aren’t they? Other people seem to push them as important but you see your way around them, so that you can get what you want from a situation. In truth, that is what many people do, whether the moral compass points north or south on the issue really doesn’t ever cross their mind. Now, do you want to be more like those folks? Or is there an alternate route for you? Stealing packages causes people distress. But you weigh it out to yourself, and think, aren’t they also causing distress?

I told you the hard drugs were right around the corner because you dreamed that you found that package. It felt real because soon, it was going to be real. You were quickly becoming desensitized to your own actions. You were getting numb, and addicted to the adrenaline high of stealing. The dress that was the perfect color and size for your sister made you so proud, almost like you had bought it. The bracelet for your mother was so pretty and she was happy with it, not seeming to care where it came from. Those two examples are from real life; you gave them those gifts.”

Josh felt like he had been seen all the way through. He did not like the feeling but there was nothing he could do about it. Tom had seen all this already and was not afraid to let Josh know that he had that ability.

Josh sighed loudly in exasperation. “What can I do about all that now? It is the past. I can only look to the future and make better choices.” He stole a quick glance at Tom to see if he was receiving this as a sincere statement.

Tom was looking away in that moment. He said to Josh, “You don’t need to promise me anything or impress me. I hold no sway and I have no power over your future. If you want to make better decisions, you will look within to see if you can find Great Grandmother’s bridge for yourself. Then you can move around the energy inside you to rearrange what has been dysfunctional. You can find the bridge but you must be ready, you must be sincere, and your intentions must be aligned with hers. It is not simple. Yet, the cost of not doing this is massive and, from what I see, you are hungry for a change.”

Josh paused and took in a few deep breaths.

“I am hungry, and ready for change. I understand what you have been working to help me see.”

He felt older than he usually did and more mature. He felt like he was on the precipice of finding out what it means to be strong. He wanted to know what that was like.

Tom smiled kindly at Josh. “That is a good place to start. Setting intentions is a bit like lighting candles. You see the first flicker of the light and feel sure it will last. However, like candle light, intentions can be snuffed out too easily without proper care tended to them. In other words, Josh, it is easy to feel and say you are ready. Being ready is another state of mind. I am happy to continue meeting with you as you prepare yourself for change.”

“Are you my mentor? I haven’t told anyone about you.”

“That is your decision. I should warn you others will not see me the way you do.”

“Why? You are not going to tell me that this too, is a dream, that you are not real!”

Tom smiled again, and winked at him. “I am as real as you are, Josh.”

End Chapter 8.

Chapter 9

Josh was feeling increasingly restless as he sat in his English class. The teacher was chattering on about books and assignments and he felt like he should have skipped class altogether.

For some reason, he chose to show up to that classroom and subject himself to the place he had less and less patience for.

As soon as the bell rings, Josh bolts from his chair and gets out of the room quickly. He is wondering if he will be able to talk to Tom again. He still had so many questions for him.

He leaves the school building and begins to walk toward the park where he sat with Tom and talked. He approached the park and did not see anyone there. He sat on the bench, feeling strange. He was starting to wonder if he had made all this up in his mind. He knew he had not made up his package stealing escapades but this Tom, who was he, really?

From behind him he heard someone say hello. Josh turned and there was Tom.

“Why did you come from that way? Are you trying to be mysterious?”

Tom smiled at him. “No, that was just where I happened to be. Now, let’s not waste time. You are ready

To learn more about Great Grandmother’s bridge and I am here to tell you about it.”

Tom began to lead Josh in a meditation that took him to the bridge. Josh found himself there, in his mind, easily now. He was ready. He saw the thick wood of the building material, cherry oak, like he had been told. Now, he had to cross it and see what he found on the other side.

He was standing at one end of the bridge, looking across it. He looked up at the surrounding trees. There was a fresh, spring time scent in the air, somewhere nearby, jasmine was blooming. He had never been in a meditation this clear. But he tried to lift his leg to step onto the bridge and he could not move.

He called out in his mind to Tom and he could hear Tom’s voice. “You have to let go of your most cherished beliefs about yourself and about your goodness, badness, worthiness or any emotional weight that is weighing you down. You can do this, I know it.”

Josh wanted to fuss and argue but he couldn’t. He knew he was ready and had to abandon the heaviness of his path. He had to honor great grandmother. Finally, he took a step onto the bridge, he wanted to rejoice but he waited until he had gone over the bridge several more steps. As he moved to the other side, he saw the trees change. He saw the scenery change and by the time he reached the other side and stepped off the bridge, he was back in the park and Tom was waiting calmly on the bench for him. He took a deep breath and released it, feeling that years of heavy feelings and identity had been lifted.

On this side of the bridge, he felt clean again.

On this side, he felt whole. On this side, he no longer wanted to steal, or harm anyone.

On this side, his great grandmother smiled from within his heart space and spoke to him, from

Within his mind. “Great grandson, you have made the journey back to yourself. Know that this place of

Compassion and peace is eternal. Know that I am with you, whispering multitudes of blessings into your

Heart space at all times. Listen for them and you will never be lost again. “

End Chapter 9

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Chapter 10 “Unconditional”

Tom and Josh sat on the bench in comfortable silence.  The sun was close to setting but the temperature remained comfortable and required a light jacket, not more.

“I have always wondered something, Tom. “

Tom looks over and nods encouragingly. “Since now I know that Great Grandmother is communicating to me from her place next to God, I have questions about what I have been taught about God.

Tom says quietly, “It is understandable to question. Many people have even more interpretations. One must sort through all of it to find out what resonates with you. “

Josh nods thoughtfully. “For me, when someone says God is jealous and that we have no gods before him menacingly, that seems like a human frailty, first, that he would be jealous at all and secondly that he would be mad about it. If they say God is love, why would there ever be anger inside that love? Is it not the most perfect love there is, therefore nothing a human could ever do would taint it or have the power to hurt him, the way humans get hurt and get jealous? This simply makes no sense.”

Tom pauses before replying. His answer is one of the longest he has given so far.

“Josh, these are all good questions. I do not believe that God gets jealous or angry. Like you, I believe that God is perfect love, personified. In perfect love, compassion, forgiveness, unconditional love, these are the true reality we wake up to when we die. Not everyone is able to wake up to this upon death, some are truly lost in other dimensions before they get close to the source, the unconditional source. It is not true that we must take on human interpretations of God’s love as anything other than unconditional. It is never full of spite, vengeance, jealousy or anger. Those emotions contain a vibration that is simply not present within God’s perfect love for her creation. Humans write books and consider some of their books to be holy. But as much as they wish it to be true, God did not write those books and She did not make those mistakes.

One mistake that humans make is to call God’s feeling, jealous. This is because for centuries, folks all over this planet have related to the spirit world and the world of the Gods in various ways, some being cruel, involving human sacrifice, and some are harmless, yet still misguided. Love is an energy, a dimension, a feeling, an action, a truth, a power. It is all this and more.

The Source of all Love Is God and God is the source of all love. All of this is real on a plane of existence that humans can sense and work with while alive but through death, we are born to eternal life if we truly align with the unconditional nature of this Spirit. Many religions have been born, and many have died, in attempts to capture what it means to align with the Source Spirit God of all creation and of all destruction. This issue of jealousy comes into play when folks interpret God as Jealous in their books, when in fact she mourns the loss of any part of her creation that does not choose to come back to her to be loved into complete transformation and then into eternal life of joy and unconditional peace and light. You see, Josh, mourning exists in the frequency of love as it is on its way to joy, it is an energy God can lay onto the world until she can complete all her miracles, without foul play, without the participants losing faith.

Josh shivered as he listened. Tom reached behind him and pulled a big jacket out which he handed to Josh. Josh smiled, no longer surprised at the incredible nature and abilities of his supernatural friend.

I can call her “She” because He allows for all genders and is the source of all genders within his creation. The genders are equal in the eyes of the creator as are all the races of humanity, the superficial differences that distract and preoccupy so many people, these are not supposed to divide. They are only supposed to be celebrated and understood. Diversity is healthy and makes people strong. Biological diversity is very healthy and makes nature sing!! So, Josh, please draw your own conclusions. Trust yourself and trust the whispers of Great Grandmother as she is now able to guide you.

Josh laughs as Tom wraps up all that he was saying. “That was totally beautiful. It was the best story I have heard…..ever!! I thank you for sharing that. I also must tell you it resonates with what I had been thinking and feeling since we began talking and I started my journey toward Great Grandmother.