self and the mirrors. part 3.

Part 3

Now that I have shared the exercise about how to proceed when you feel a glimmering
of recognition or of divinity or a connection that intrigues you, it is time to explore the next phase, which, if you are at all like me, can be a complicated one.

Accepting that with each person, you mirror different parts of your self and they reflect too, means at some point it is great if you can discern what the main ingredients are in the dynamic.

For example, let's say you have decided to pull a person closer into your space.

Let's say you like their energy and wish for them to like you, to pay attention to you and you want to pay attention to them. This can be a result of a romantic or strictly friend type attraction, but you know that there is an attraction.

I know what it feels like to sense that I crossed paths with a person in a cosmically magical time for us. We are both open to meet, we want to learn what the other person is teaching, both on purpose and by default, since we have lessons we teach and learn that are born of intention or just personality and habit. If your boundaries are clear, and your desires are clear to you, this phase can last a very long time without too much confusion or too many problems.

If you are a bit unclear what you want from them, or what they want from you, this is a very hard phase. For some, it is easy to dismiss connections with people, they function from a place of confidence and feel that when it is right, it is easy, so when it becomes challenging, they get out of the situation, sometimes graciously, sometimes abruptly and harshly.

When they are not functioning from a place of confidence, they will more likely leave the other person feeling unresolved, and essentially dissed. Sometimes, there is no right or easy way to leave another person. Maybe you left or were left behind because one of you grew out of the dynamic, and felt there was no more to learn or get from the situation.

When a person grows out of the dynamic, and you are the person left behind, left in their dust, so to speak, it is very easy to blame yourself, or blame them, since it can be hurtful to be in that position. If you are hurt by a person leaving, whether it is a long term friend, an acquaintance, a family member who decides to pull away, or a marriage partner, you will need time to heal from this.

We do not generally know how long it will take to be fully healed from the separation, for each person, it is different situation. I suggest keeping a journal, getting counseling, and doing all kinds of really kind and loving things for yourself. Treat yourself gently and with great care. No matter if the split seems like a small one to other people you know, give yourself plenty of time and space.