Part 2. Relationship to self and the mirrors

At times, there seems to be an arbitrary nature to the trappings of being in a body and living with the ups and downs of our lives. I call it arbitrary because there is no universally agreed upon way to adapt to being alive that allows one to know how to make certain decisions about important matters that arise. In other words, we often do not know how to proceed, in the various areas we are to move through, such as friendships, and all manner of all other relationships.

In Part 1, I pose the question, after you notice a mirror, or the glimmering divine reflection in a person, it can be hard to see them fully, because you might put them on a pedestal. Some folks can see this divine reflection in themselves and it is not narcissistic, unless the person thinks they are the only one around who can reflect divinity.

In younger years, I searched for that piece of divinity in people and whether I projected it onto them, or actually found it I will never know. Now, I take for granted that we are all part of a bigger spiritual tapestry and I do not have to search, I just know and I just see.

So, upon seeing this glimmer, do you push the person away or do you pull them closer? I like to use a very simple exercise around this question that is based on honest, intuitive answers that come straight from you. There are 3 questions to ask your self and if you answer them with brutal honesty, to yourself, you will have your conclusion.

1. How do I feel before I see this person or talk to them?

(Am I anxious, excited, uneasy, happy, nervous, thrilled, expectant, hopeful and etc.?
Be totally real to yourself about it if you want your answer to be genuine)

2. How do I feel during the visit or the time we are together, talking or in person?

(Am I frustrated, clear, calm, angry, repressed, frantic, loving, caring, nurturing etc. ?)

3. Finally, how do I feel after seeing them or talking to them?

(Am I relieved? Am I sad that the visit or time is over? Am I full of longing? No wrong answer to these questions, just notice what is happening for you)

I find it is best to have more than 1 or 2 visits with the person or I try to spend enough time to really find out, if I am unsure. I also find that some situations take almost no reflection to determine you do not want then in your life or in your personal space.

Trust yourself in those cases and have good boundaries. Being clear about boundaries with others is a practice that is at the very top of the list of  important self care tasks we all need to do, to feel safe, good and clear.