beyond comparison

I write
in order to
breathe out
injustice and confusion
I write to relieve the oppressive intensity
of that undefinable pain
permeating the days as they flow into nights

and I am stuck
for a moment
then free as the wind
I am the wind
until I am the rock
and ego is a crack in this rock self
and light gets in there
but so does dust
and the ego is blown out
huge like a parachute
being lifted off the ground
the ego is a story I tell myself

nature is a story we tell ourselves
and the articulate mind
is its own contradictory blessing
something
always
missing
but at the same time complete
the wholeness
of each experience
I could rhapsodize
I could look at you and rhapsodize
but then you would
quickly attribute that rhapsody
to your physical self
the most temporary
when I simply cannot help
but be struck by
beyond
below
beneath
beside
alongside or other than
spaces in between your cells
then the spirit infused
laughter
that arises or moves
through us countless times
so that the myth of our path
our trajectory
can spin
keep spinning
words on wheels of time
spun spoken spiraling sent out
into atmosphere
mysteriously tied to the souls of the stars

what is cosmic truth telling you
if not
that you are
a definition beyond
comparison

take refuge

love is the heartbeat of earth's pulse

father of the cosmos
sends storms of rhythm
to beat upon her atmosphere

knocking through the door of her answer
she peers through
branches and beckons him
to dance with her
come in or leave me alone
she pleads, he plants some seeds

they take refuge together
in the motion of earth around sun
the brightest star
from near here to far

love is her earth beat
love is his heart and cosmic feet

pounding out her soul
into dust
into rain
into pain all over again

get rid of clutter

listen, open to a place
of emptiness

and listen, how to be alone
and not be lonely

how to be among others
without being smothered

first get rid of clutter
distractions from emptiness
and work from there
listen
to that voice in you, among the many
that guides you with love
do not mistake attachment for love
do not be caught in the dream
listen.

crack your self open and
unleash your contents
start to die
keep dying until you fly
when you are flying
don't forget to listen

all kinds of weather

verse 1

people come in and out
of my life
like so many starry nights
people come in and out of my sight
like so many breath taking views

chorus

what makes you different
will you stay?
what makes you different
what you got to say?

verse 2

take 5 steps back
and look at our time together
seems like what we had
could endure all kinds of weather
you may not see it like I do
that don't make it any less true


"If you ever get close to a human, and human behavior, be ready, be ready to get confused"
-Bjork

turning 36 and in the meantime

came through my mother
borrowing the genetic material for
a brand new incarnation
all blessed up for the
divine play
the Lila
that I may
know that way.

 

"There is an old Sanskrit word, lila, which means play, richer than our word, it means divine play, the play of creation, destruction, and re-creation, the folding and unfolding of the cosmos. Lila, free and deep, is both the delight and enjoyment of this moment, and the play of God. It also means love.*"

from a blog "the world is freaky beautiful"

found art

we are a dream fashioned from the stars
gentle ruminations flowing from source
intangible merges with tangible
to create life and all that follows
death back to life again

(found this on the back of my drawing  from 9/11/06)

Fluidity -- part 1 and part 2

mistakes have been made
they often mistook
their own source of love
 for that which
lies within the hearts of those they encounter

is it really all the same?
or is it a challenge for each seeker
to be loved on his or her own terms
anyone can say I love you
anyone can say they care

and the storyline shifts with the winds

and the seekers seek breath that is pure truth
in one of these worlds
thought forms and material planes
dance in and out of existence

it is good
when it is quiet

no fear, empty yourself
this emptiness feels solid
this fluidity is wholeness


part 2

spilling from her eyes like tears was truth
spilling from her hips like secrets
as she spins
there was prayer

every movement asked a question
every sound provided a word less answer

words distract, words repel
but she uses them until she has learned to let them
use her
and this energy
like secrets, like tears
spills from her heart
pours from her thighs
they are pulled to her eyes

cannot avoid her gaze
the creative force of her mind is aligned with her soul
she is empty and whole

I saw her in the moonlight
cloaked in beauty, wings outstretched
shimmering and tall
and most of all?

strong enough to catch us after we fall.

Draft of Mission Statement for Template for Community Group or Organization, Planning Stages

Here is a draft of my mission statement:

This organization is non-hierarchical, the function of my role is to maintain integrity with the vision of thinking through each move in terms of seven generations from now. This model is created to fit into the more planetary Healing Arts Enterprise, encompassing the music business. I encourage Artists of all genders and types to break free of the restrictions of major labels.

Imaya' s Modalities Record Label follows the same credo that all people contribute as much or as little as they want and they will avoid being exploited by joining up and exploring the groundbreaking idea that as a musician, you can be heard and control your own labor in the studio, in production, in promotion and so on. Live music and Live Recordings will be considered one good way to get music presented to the public in a fun and accessible way.

About Medicine:

Medicine in this country has improved in some ways since ancient times, but the priorities of the people practicing medicine are dictated by paychecks. This would not be a problem, if doctors, all kinds of doctors, for all kinds of practiced treatments, were paid on the basis of wellness, not illness. The way it works now, if you are sick in any way, or need medical attention for any thing at all, your doctor is paid when you seek treatment.

 Imagine a world where all people who are licensed and train to treat the illnesses we get, as a species, were paid only when we are well. This would intentionally shift the priorities of people who need to pay mortgage or rent, or make car payments. They need to feed themselves, and feed family members, too. They need clothes, vacations. What exactly do they need? What should they earn? What are the tenets of the medical establishment's faith in western modalities? Eastern modalities? Combinations of different treatment practices? How can we, as global community, identify charlatans when it comes to medicine? Get in touch, if you want to engage this topic!

I have been thinking of the inroads to becoming an employer for longer than the people who know me even know. Now, I am launching a fantastic organization with an incorporated record label and there are no limits to how we will grow, I just know this is the humble, exciting beginning.

I send love to those who wish for the same clean air, protected public sources for pure water, other beautiful preserved natural environments that are desirable in every part of the planet we share. May we manifest this together. This is a vision that is, was, and shall be.

I have a growing sense of optimism and confidence in my leadership abilities. I talked to two gentlemen in suits who practice their faith, so far, down the street from mine.

I am happy to talk to so many different people, I have always been an Interfaith type, always excited by a good conversation, and genuine dialogue about ideas that matter.

What does the platform of publicity give a singer? First, it gives them access to the ears of many thousands or millions of pairs of ears and eyes, taking in the symbols and the messages both subliminal and intentional, that people who constructed the image of the singer have put out there.

What has been shifting for me, as a songwriter, lately is my ability to hold my tongue when it comes to my personal experiences and therefore interpretations of people in the public eye. In fact, I am not hostile toward the messages or music of many who have garnered a huge amount of attention.

What I have been breaking down are the intentions of the individuals who are quick to work extra hard to remain in the spotlight. Is it wrong or right? To be the center of attention, you will receive acclaim if you have charisma, beauty, something important to say, but of course the flip side of that exciting place to hold, is social crucifixion. Social suicide, or worse, character assassination.

Many others in past similar situations go unheard of, simply because our mainstream history books lie to us. If we were educated from the start to believe in and model our lives after those who gave their lives for many of the freedoms we enjoy today, would we be so morally and spiritually dead and bankrupt? Of course not, we would have so many more choices in our lives, we would be literally a happier, more thriving species.

If this is the first of my writing you have ever come across, I urge you, after you finish reading to sit alone for few minutes.
Clear your mind. Listen to your breath. Breathe deeply and close your eyes. Once you have started to feel the rhythm of your breath, invite the word calm into your out breath. Breathe in the word AIR and on the out breath, go ahead and say calm. Or say, I release you.

Powers from which you Originated

here are these moments
powered by these mysterious winds
transformed by alchemy of days upon days
shooting out
into the blessed four corners

taking deep breaths
we come together inside
no matter what story persists
in your thoughts about who you are
or who you wish to be
the sound of buried silence emanates from the wants
and desires in those precious eyes

love fuels my dream
while below I wish for a seed
that could sprout forth desired destiny

I cannot judge the powers
from which you originated
and I cannot forget the places we travelled
and when its right we know its right

"oh, it's hard to love, oh, its hard not to love"
Edie Brickell"

Leaving out identity- A letter about the Army

 Hello!

I know you and I have never been close. I know I do not know you very well. I heard about your decision to go into the Army and I feel moved to just make it known, I hope you really know what you are getting into. If you do, and all that I am about to say is known, please forgive me, I am writing because I have been around you enough to care about your life, and the direction you are going.

I can understand that it is really hard to find a decent job that pays enough. It is hard to find enough money to go to school and study in this country. The Army is very good at getting folks with good intentions to believe that it is a viable choice for them.

I have always seen you as a gentle person. You are clearly a good man. If I do not speak up and tell you that I value your life, that I would hate for you to be in a position where you may have to kill innocent people, or die way too early, I would  be lying to you, our friends and myself. I am sorry to come out and just say that, but in reality, that could happen and it is incredibly traumatic, there is no way it would not be.

While I do not know exactly how your life would unfold in the Army, I know that you will likely be faced with decisions that no man should have to face. I have never seen an aggressive tendency in you. I fear how the agenda of the United States Military would change the gentle nature I have seen in you. I do not have answers for what you should do, but I feel sure there are other ways for you to build your life. Certainly, there are safer ways.

I want to make clear that the Army protects the agendas of the elite, super wealthy people who would never fight themselves but have no problem sending young, strong men like you to fight and die so that Transnational Corporations can expand their control and wealth without consequences. These wealthy elite groups call the shots on every single level. As a soldier, you have almost no right to ever challenge a superior.

These agendas are what the Army sends soldiers to fight for, not noble reasons. It is incredibly unfair that they lure people in under any other pretense.

I must add that my current boyfriend did serve in the Army. He was given an Honorable Medical Discharge after a few months due to medical issues. He is black and he grew up in East Oakland. I mention this to outline that he did not feel he had many choices. He looks back now and feels it was a huge blessing that he did not continue on that path.

I will stop here. If you want to talk to me or to him about any of this, please do. If you are mad that I said all this, I understand that too. I am somebody who speaks the truth even if it will be controversial.

I hope you have a long, satisfying life, no matter what you do. I also hope there is as little violence in your life as possible.

Thanks so much for reading this, if you did.

In peace, a friend

Forward and back

Unite so we can lift up on wings so tight
Intentions so bright

We were not born simply for the epic fight

we were born for evolution, bloodless revolution
once around the sun we swing forward and back
let's retreat from another attack
peace forming strands of DNA necklaces in our cells
words in cellular formation

was this looking like a complication?
look closer you will see
the very same reflection from the heart of me
the heart of you
lets spend more time in the other shoe

sending love and courage to

Every One Of You...............


Demo 8 track from 98/99  Green Ranch High School

"In my head my knees are bent
cuz every girl I've ever loved I've done wrong"

"We put more money in our jails than we do into our schools
and we wonder why there's more and more educated criminals
than honest working fools
I can only shine as much as my environment
I'm tired and spent
so I am left in the ? iridescent
living in a fucked up environment"

When does this really become a gift?

"The Clown"

She grabbed one of her old journals and ran to the other room, planting herself in the big red chair.

She had picked this one spontaneously, at random, and flipped open to a page with big handwriting, the way she used to write before becoming an angst filled teenager, who scrawled in small and smaller script, demonstrating how small and useless she felt at times.

The page she opened to told her what she was noticing when she had visited her older sister in Canada the summer before high school.

It read: "Mia and Aaron had a fight earlier. She is very vulnerable and he manipulates her. Now they are gone and I am alone in the cabin. There is an atmosphere of hurt all around the space."

Looking back at what she wrote, she was struck by the fact that this was basically written by a child.
She was hardly 13 when she started to write about this sort of scene. No wonder she had not enjoyed being young, she was unwittingly analyzing and taking on the emotions and dysfunction of the adults around her. She had no real defenses, and no way at the time to explain how sensitive she was.

There was one defense she did develop, and this simply came very naturally to her, and she did not analyze why. She became a high energy, center of attention, clown! She developed skills to make her family laugh, essentially breaking tensions, and putting the focus on her, which was not exactly ideal for her but it allowed the energies swirling around that disturbed her to have a focal point.

While she was the focal point, all the ugliness could temporarily fall to the wayside. Of course, this was a highly flawed method which often failed, but at the time, with limited resources, it was pretty much all she had.

"The Sea of Ten Million Lights"

That trip in some ways had been a disaster. The best part by far was when she followed the path down, away from the cabin to the beach, where on certain nights there was a phosphorescent tide. Nobody seemed to be keeping track of her, not her sister, not any of the adults around.

After she found the beach and took in the moonlight and the waves kissing the shore, she slipped out of her clothes and entered the sea water, walking in deep enough so she could float about, every swing of her arm or leg creating a shower of tiny little lights from her movements. How beautiful those moments were, she would never forget them. In that time, she was swimming in pure magic. She had not yet had explained to her what caused those tiny points of light and while she was in it, she did not care.

Another beautiful moment was when she was allowed to hold the baby, her sweet new to the world nephew. She held him in her arms and walked just a bit into the woods where the hammock was. She got them both comfortably held by the hammock, and began to sing to him. His tears and vocalizations quieted down as he fell asleep while she rocked him and sang, in quiet, peaceful tones.

to be continued.....