Thursday, February 24, 2011

1. translate me and 2. rest your heart

translate me

Sudden shudder of release from past mistakes
It was all a mistake only none of it was
Due to a reality of no regret
Present in the stones at the bottom of the river
The stones hold no regret
As water flows over them and beauty is not hard to find
Or to unwind from your thoughts or skin
Translate me
The whole of me
The soul of me
Pressured tightrope thoughts
Release and I forget who I was in order to become who I am becoming
The strength of the mind
Unfolding in waves
A separate rapture upon us
Give that old notion of self away
To the river back to forgiving water as ice melts and earth changes
And as we become
Who we are becoming
Shuddering with release of past betrayals or disappointments
How can we fill this space with new and vibrant energy if not by
searching heavens and earth
For that which was always there
Contradiction and harmony
And sweet relief.

 rest your heart here
                         i feel my heart being pulled in at least two directions,
and yet neither place is where it could rest at this time
my friend spoke to me wearily of wanting to rest his heart with someone
and while i understood that, i also understood a brightness inside myself that endured during misty foggy strange moments and this brightness was new and it was settling into me, the more i felt it consciously the more it manifested itself, and the potential for getting love from him or from the other one i feel pulled to is separate from this brightness, this wellness, this wholeness.
with another person you experience a merging and you may compress your insides to fit them into you, the penetrative act of loving, the reciprocal act of being loved. and then the flow goes a new direction. from loving to loved, from loved to loving until it overflows, or until it dries up. when i focus on it, i can feel the brightness overtaking and sparkling and moving around in way that leaves less room for him to enter and take up space. instead, i witness a new level of this relationship with the great mystery.
some say the only real or important relationship you ever have is the one between yourself and the great mystery. if they say this, they must have their reasons.

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