Throwback Post from 1996

This is a journal excerpt from 1996, I was 16.

"Now I will try to convert these thoughts into words. Time and events are related obviously. If my childhood ended early that would speed up certain experiences right? Example: A girl is raped at 8 or 9. She learns that sex is not hers, and it is a way to get attention. She goes from boy to boy not ever reclaiming the self which was stolen, sex as a mere tool, a chore and she is almost obsessive about, it is most of her life, all centered around the result from one early experience. Several theories arise from this speculation. What damages us early on shapes and affects us forever. Thus, life will move more slowly, more regulated by natural growth, rather than spurred on by trauma inflicted by certain forces. The patterns all over the face of time and it makes me think. It makes me think I understand why things happen to me when they do and to others. Maybe I overcomplicate it."