Open letter to Women:
Yes, I know, we meant to sort through the debris of what sexism and internalized oppression has done to our sacred spaces, our public forums and media outlets.
We meant to do that, we may have thought we could put aside some time for that which has ripped our trust to shreds. There was a trust, if only hovering in a dimension right above our interactions, a dimension we could pull down and into us, to give light, power and weight to the desires flowing between us.
These desires might dwell in us as what we call jealousy but upon further inspection reveal themselves to be latent admiration and adoration and all kinds of being impressed with the incredible nature of our talents and bright shining beauty as women.
There are so many kinds of beauty, yes and so little room or time to name it, to fall into it, to skip what you were supposed to do just to be with her. Skip that thing to just be in her space, listening to how she talks, what she thinks about. We do not worship this way, but we can learn to love this way. We can learn to love.
Sometime, somewhere in between laundry and dinner and perhaps the debris is akin to all those clothes taking up room. You will never wear them. Similarly, it is too painful and complicated to examine what has stolen our will to bond with each other, to deeply and exactly love each other.
What about getting hurt? What about those who acted out of jealousy or spite or fear or betrayal and abandonment? I have been hurt and betrayed by women many times, in very cold hearted and sad ways. I have that song playing in my head, and I refuse to give up on friendship with women.
I will sacrifice the safety that calls me and says I can just avoid it all, never get close again, keep all the cards against your chest. My heart won't allow me to stop, I must keep looking, getting right up close, testing the waters and constructing trust within empty spaces. Where are the empty spaces? We will find them again, to fill them, shape the stunning colors and edges and depths with our breath, our brand newborn trust energy and more and more and more.
What about those who gaslighted or ghosted you? How do you reconcile this and prepare yourself to meet women who would never do that to you or to anyone? You stay open in the present moment, breathing deeply through any moment that arises, remind yourself that emptiness is form and form is emptiness and that the dance may lead you far from what you've known but you got this. Why can't we be friends? How could we not be friends? Eventually, we will see this, know it, drink it down and live in it.
