Kundalini Awakening- one story
Many of the encounters with Kundalini I have read have much to do with an energy that rose inside the body, with a fierce intensity, with its own power and left the person with their own puzzle pieces to put back together about the nature of their reality, their life up until the energy surge and what their awakening meant to them.
My experience with Kundalini rising has been quite different from all that I have read. One of the memories I have with the vivid and strong awakening energy began when I started wearing black onyx (the identity of the stone has been changed for personal reasons) around my neck. Since I have been activated by many kinds of energies and at times even spirits that were around me for a period of time, it was not that unheard of to me that this onyx would tap into my energy field to release that which needed to get out.
For the people around me, when my energy field heightens for whatever reason, it can be scary to them. It can seem that I am not me, that they cannot reach me. When these energy surges happen, those fears may be based on some truth but also based in ignorance.
The onyx around my neck activated my throat chakra and I was speaking and saying things that sounded unfamiliar to those who knew me. They wanted to keep me safe, since I seemed so far from my normal personality, one that was palatable and easier to interact with.
The main piece of the story that feels the most significant, for me, was the evening when I found myself in my bed, but still in an altered state. The experience is incredibly hard to describe, but looking back on it, what felt like an old conditioning that I carried in my soul about the construct of god. God, with a strictly male identity had been forced on my ancestors of antiquity and many in more recent times and was pushing itself up and out of me as a poison that needed to be extracted.
The way I spoke, the content I put forth in my speech, all this was clearly a sign of the forced story about the true divine life force power from the Kundalini legend. This pure life force energy was one of the "voices" of the Great Goddess, the Great Mystery who is all genders, who birthed the masculine and feminine and all other possible constructs of gender in her extensive rainbow light essence.
The power of protection over my soul was shown to me. The ability she has to show you painful, difficult mirrors is quite impressive. The ability she bestows upon some of us, maybe more of us than we think, to erase that narrative, that story and dream of who we have been and who we can become, is an unparalleled power in the scheme of things.
As I lay in bed after several days of this mighty energy moving through me, I closed my eyes. In some ways, that old, poisonous, forced, male construct, which arose in a toxic, patriarchal manner, was being pushed out of my soul, cleansed from me. Though my eyes were closed, I saw, clearly, that many kinds of pain I had felt and had been lodged in me were swimming out of me in colored lights golden, silver, purple and just starlight.
As the pain swam out of me, the power, strength, beauty, love, wisdom, intelligence, discernment and compassion, that are all my birthrights began swimming into to me. I could hardly keep up with the transformations that I was being called to experience and know at that time. Faces of people who had hurt me, their names flowed back to me, because the course of my river flow, my oceanic depth was becoming so strong with Kundalini goddess manifestation, that I was able to absorb and transform within myself, that which seemed to have power over me, now, it held no power.
The experiences I just shared happened in 2012. Within the last 5 years, I have been learning to be more cautious, though still spontaneous, and accurate in my discernment of who to be around and who to stay away from. It has only been recently that I have been able to assess my experiences and put them into a framework that can be read and understood by other people. Until now, or around now, I have been stuck in some sort of liminal space, the space between visible and invisible.
As I become more decidedly visible and seen on purpose, but seen within a framework that I create, I notice what disappears from my view. That which begins to disappear from the view of the person who finds this kind of path, is of a vibrational arrangement that it is heavier with shadow, unexamined pain, distraction, fear and a whole host of other energetic arrangements. Love and light are intentions and goals to manifest within and to bring into the world's energetic maps, but without an integrated shadow, that love and light will be like wisps of fading daylight, into the all encompassing darkness of mystery. This level of love and light intentionality will inevitably fade into the unknown and the ancient types of powers that can be put to sleep, or awakened, depending on the skill level of the beings who wish to manipulate and use them, or extinguish them. When we begin extinguishing the shadow energy that we relied upon, either in this incarnation or another, we essentially give ourselves over to an integrated, holistic, visionary approach to being fully human, and to awakening.
I have been assisting folks in terminating energetic contracts with people, places, situations and more that keep them from fulfilling their purposes. Often they start finding out what those purposes really are and stop sabotaging themselves habitually. In our world, it is not generally an easy or instantly discovered path toward the wholeness we seek, the truth we seek and the answers about our existence we seek. The understanding that stagnation creates illness is the heart of almost all of the ailments we truly suffer from, and it is not a matter of fault or blame.
In our cells, there are stories and there are maps.
When we pause at the intersection of our current DNA knowledge and intuitive practices, we are linking up with possible new answers to problems that plagued our ancestors.
We need new stories. We need them to be breathed into our bloodstreams, and into the blood stream of the conscience, the psyche of our cultures. We need new stories so we do not pass on the psychic pain and oppression that perverted our human experiences and killed the visionaries, dreamers, wisdom teachers and more. We need stories to feed to the babies, and the children, so they grow into the better world that is possible, and so they grow up knowing they have the power to change
the most seemingly impossible parts of themselves.
The new stories will appear in our minds, we need only to get clear and quiet enough to hear them. Many stories will be birthed and manifested into this world. For this, I give continual thanks.
