If one steps back and observes throughout history, there almost always emerges a group of people who wish to make life better for others, heal and comfort the sick and dying, free slaves from bondage, create balance and act from love. The group might have this or that moral philosophy, they might have this or that religious path and belief system but the fact that they emerge in order to serve humanity, shows us that while society and cultures create patterns in our behaviors..., when the need arises the people committed to higher and better causes always emerge. It is as if the energy of these uncharted new and different groups gain steam upon the identity of the good they are doing but so many seem to inevitably fall into corruption, fall away from "grace" and acts of "love" as it were. I am not calling out Christianity or Pagan Religions or anyone else by name. I am calling out the phenomenon occurring in our midst, within the depths of what humanity is and what it could be. So, I encourage you, view your fellow humans with as fresh eyes as possible, see what you can do to serve and leave the fleeting identity, the way the history books will define you, leave that all behind.
Monday, April 16, 2018
Thursday, April 5, 2018
we find it
blessed are those among us
with the deep compassion
with the pools of silence
inviting clarity
blessed is that within us
reaching for the experience of
peace and substantial reflection
reflecting that which
honors and respects and
makes whole
blessed is that which
guides us within
guides us to move and
in moving realizing
and in realizing
being of integrity and in
doing that, showing others
the way
learning the way,
there is a way
blood water, earth mud,
wind whisper, fire dancing
we find it
we find us, ourselves
aching the reflection whole
release
completing
understanding
unifying
with the deep compassion
with the pools of silence
inviting clarity
blessed is that within us
reaching for the experience of
peace and substantial reflection
reflecting that which
honors and respects and
makes whole
blessed is that which
guides us within
guides us to move and
in moving realizing
and in realizing
being of integrity and in
doing that, showing others
the way
learning the way,
there is a way
blood water, earth mud,
wind whisper, fire dancing
we find it
we find us, ourselves
aching the reflection whole
release
completing
understanding
unifying
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Help me Fly
I will call him Charcoal, in order to tell the story. I change his name out of respect for his death. He died tragically, and to share his name with strangers just does not seem right.
I met him when I was 8 or 9, he attended rituals in the Pagan community in which my parents played a role. I had an inside joke with him, I called him "Mom" and he, in turn, called me "Grandma". I knew even then, that we were playing with energy and identity because some witches can see into the roles we play on the surface and deeper into them to other kinds of identity. Charcoal was that kind of witch.
I hesitate to write about the Pagan experience because it is so often misunderstood and exploited in order to shock and entertain. Charcoal was the kind of witch who brought his whole self, shadows and all, to everything he did.
He had some bad habits, and it was the 1980s and he became infected with HIV, and eventually he was sick with AIDS. He was dying, and I was 16. I remember vaguely the last few times my mother mentioned visiting him. He was estranged from his family for a number of reasons. One would think, this is where the story ends but in fact, it just pauses.
Last night, in the dreamtime, I was shown a view of him and asked to help him on his way. This is a matter of energy work and helping the energy of a deceased person find his way to the next realm. I showed him he could purge himself of whatever he still carried, and that he could fly. I had part of his name in the dream, because there was something obscuring his whole name. While I took care of much of what was asked of me in the dream, the energy stayed with me into the next day.
That was today, and earlier I finished the communication with him and sent him on his way. I could feel the prayers and magic worked and that he was now moving on. When I came home from where I had been today, I knew I needed to get still and close my eyes. I did so. Now, there is a peace where the feeling of unrest used to be. He can fly now, as he was always meant to.
I met him when I was 8 or 9, he attended rituals in the Pagan community in which my parents played a role. I had an inside joke with him, I called him "Mom" and he, in turn, called me "Grandma". I knew even then, that we were playing with energy and identity because some witches can see into the roles we play on the surface and deeper into them to other kinds of identity. Charcoal was that kind of witch.
I hesitate to write about the Pagan experience because it is so often misunderstood and exploited in order to shock and entertain. Charcoal was the kind of witch who brought his whole self, shadows and all, to everything he did.
He had some bad habits, and it was the 1980s and he became infected with HIV, and eventually he was sick with AIDS. He was dying, and I was 16. I remember vaguely the last few times my mother mentioned visiting him. He was estranged from his family for a number of reasons. One would think, this is where the story ends but in fact, it just pauses.
Last night, in the dreamtime, I was shown a view of him and asked to help him on his way. This is a matter of energy work and helping the energy of a deceased person find his way to the next realm. I showed him he could purge himself of whatever he still carried, and that he could fly. I had part of his name in the dream, because there was something obscuring his whole name. While I took care of much of what was asked of me in the dream, the energy stayed with me into the next day.
That was today, and earlier I finished the communication with him and sent him on his way. I could feel the prayers and magic worked and that he was now moving on. When I came home from where I had been today, I knew I needed to get still and close my eyes. I did so. Now, there is a peace where the feeling of unrest used to be. He can fly now, as he was always meant to.
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Prayer of Integration- to share
I have put into words some creative approaches to dealing with issues of faith that seem hard to reconcile but might be easier than we have been thinking. If the wording works for you or you want to change some, feel free to use it in any way you want as long as you are coming from a place of genuine respect for the faiths that you include in this prayer or magical working or whatever you choose to call it. Some will inevitably find fault with what I am doing here, and with what I say. I understand that. I am open to dialogue about it as long as the discussion is (what I would call)productive.
Prayer for Integrating Spiritual Paths-
Great Spirit, Angels and Guides, I turn over to you all my fears about the inability to walk a path
of integrated spirituality.
I ask that the integration of my beliefs with the acknowledgement of Christ/Yeshua and what it means to accept Him be a smooth transition, from where I have been to where I am going. I give thanks that this addition to my already rich tapestry does not mean I must change my identity, religious or otherwise, but simply deepen what I already know about who and why I am.
I walk in the knowledge that I can personally shape my path with God, my Angels and Guides, my Benevolent Ancestors and the Great Goddess all in one lifetime. I ask that you remove from me any doubts that I can worship, pray and believe as I choose even while maintaining agreements with and connections to faiths that have been perceived to have always been at odds with each other.
I have devoted myself to the removal of that which does not serve my highest good and I know my Guides will walk with me and move me in my dreams and in waking hours to tell me which direction is best, when I need guidance.
Thank you for the dreams that have symbols which have me asking deeper questions and inquiring into any part of any relevant faith in my seeking and searching for truth above all else, clarity at all times, cleansing and purification when it is time to do so.
I give thanks for my life and for the chance to seek within the natural world and within humankind, all the Art, writing, conversations, Music and more that may serve to illuminate my path.
I give thanks for my gifts, and for the good sense to pray and ask when I am unsure how to apply myself, or unsure in any realm I find myself in. I give thanks for the Love in my life, from people, animals, plants and from Spirit, unseen but never unfelt. I know there is more than a lifetime's worth
of wisdom, knowledge, beauty, peace, truth, and happiness that awaits me.
Prayer for Integrating Spiritual Paths-
Great Spirit, Angels and Guides, I turn over to you all my fears about the inability to walk a path
of integrated spirituality.
I ask that the integration of my beliefs with the acknowledgement of Christ/Yeshua and what it means to accept Him be a smooth transition, from where I have been to where I am going. I give thanks that this addition to my already rich tapestry does not mean I must change my identity, religious or otherwise, but simply deepen what I already know about who and why I am.
I walk in the knowledge that I can personally shape my path with God, my Angels and Guides, my Benevolent Ancestors and the Great Goddess all in one lifetime. I ask that you remove from me any doubts that I can worship, pray and believe as I choose even while maintaining agreements with and connections to faiths that have been perceived to have always been at odds with each other.
I have devoted myself to the removal of that which does not serve my highest good and I know my Guides will walk with me and move me in my dreams and in waking hours to tell me which direction is best, when I need guidance.
Thank you for the dreams that have symbols which have me asking deeper questions and inquiring into any part of any relevant faith in my seeking and searching for truth above all else, clarity at all times, cleansing and purification when it is time to do so.
I give thanks for my life and for the chance to seek within the natural world and within humankind, all the Art, writing, conversations, Music and more that may serve to illuminate my path.
I give thanks for my gifts, and for the good sense to pray and ask when I am unsure how to apply myself, or unsure in any realm I find myself in. I give thanks for the Love in my life, from people, animals, plants and from Spirit, unseen but never unfelt. I know there is more than a lifetime's worth
of wisdom, knowledge, beauty, peace, truth, and happiness that awaits me.
Tuesday, November 7, 2017
Update: Why can't we be friends?
Open letter to Women:
Yes, I know, we meant to sort through the debris of what sexism and internalized oppression has done to our sacred spaces, our public forums and media outlets.
We meant to do that, we may have thought we could put aside some time for that which has ripped our trust to shreds. There was a trust, if only hovering in a dimension right above our interactions, a dimension we could pull down and into us, to give light, power and weight to the desires flowing between us.
These desires might dwell in us as what we call jealousy but upon further inspection reveal themselves to be latent admiration and adoration and all kinds of being impressed with the incredible nature of our talents and bright shining beauty as women.
There are so many kinds of beauty, yes and so little room or time to name it, to fall into it, to skip what you were supposed to do just to be with her. Skip that thing to just be in her space, listening to how she talks, what she thinks about. We do not worship this way, but we can learn to love this way. We can learn to love.
Sometime, somewhere in between laundry and dinner and perhaps the debris is akin to all those clothes taking up room. You will never wear them. Similarly, it is too painful and complicated to examine what has stolen our will to bond with each other, to deeply and exactly love each other.
What about getting hurt? What about those who acted out of jealousy or spite or fear or betrayal and abandonment? I have been hurt and betrayed by women many times, in very cold hearted and sad ways. I have that song playing in my head, and I refuse to give up on friendship with women.
I will sacrifice the safety that calls me and says I can just avoid it all, never get close again, keep all the cards against your chest. My heart won't allow me to stop, I must keep looking, getting right up close, testing the waters and constructing trust within empty spaces. Where are the empty spaces? We will find them again, to fill them, shape the stunning colors and edges and depths with our breath, our brand newborn trust energy and more and more and more.
What about those who gaslighted or ghosted you? How do you reconcile this and prepare yourself to meet women who would never do that to you or to anyone? You stay open in the present moment, breathing deeply through any moment that arises, remind yourself that emptiness is form and form is emptiness and that the dance may lead you far from what you've known but you got this. Why can't we be friends? How could we not be friends? Eventually, we will see this, know it, drink it down and live in it.
Yes, I know, we meant to sort through the debris of what sexism and internalized oppression has done to our sacred spaces, our public forums and media outlets.
We meant to do that, we may have thought we could put aside some time for that which has ripped our trust to shreds. There was a trust, if only hovering in a dimension right above our interactions, a dimension we could pull down and into us, to give light, power and weight to the desires flowing between us.
These desires might dwell in us as what we call jealousy but upon further inspection reveal themselves to be latent admiration and adoration and all kinds of being impressed with the incredible nature of our talents and bright shining beauty as women.
There are so many kinds of beauty, yes and so little room or time to name it, to fall into it, to skip what you were supposed to do just to be with her. Skip that thing to just be in her space, listening to how she talks, what she thinks about. We do not worship this way, but we can learn to love this way. We can learn to love.
Sometime, somewhere in between laundry and dinner and perhaps the debris is akin to all those clothes taking up room. You will never wear them. Similarly, it is too painful and complicated to examine what has stolen our will to bond with each other, to deeply and exactly love each other.
What about getting hurt? What about those who acted out of jealousy or spite or fear or betrayal and abandonment? I have been hurt and betrayed by women many times, in very cold hearted and sad ways. I have that song playing in my head, and I refuse to give up on friendship with women.
I will sacrifice the safety that calls me and says I can just avoid it all, never get close again, keep all the cards against your chest. My heart won't allow me to stop, I must keep looking, getting right up close, testing the waters and constructing trust within empty spaces. Where are the empty spaces? We will find them again, to fill them, shape the stunning colors and edges and depths with our breath, our brand newborn trust energy and more and more and more.
What about those who gaslighted or ghosted you? How do you reconcile this and prepare yourself to meet women who would never do that to you or to anyone? You stay open in the present moment, breathing deeply through any moment that arises, remind yourself that emptiness is form and form is emptiness and that the dance may lead you far from what you've known but you got this. Why can't we be friends? How could we not be friends? Eventually, we will see this, know it, drink it down and live in it.
Thursday, October 12, 2017
now what?
Where do I begin if I were to update right now? Hurricanes, Fires, A Klansman is president, Nobody in line after him for President is any less horrifying, and yet, and still, I am hopeful beyond all reason or measure. Sometimes we think we have seen the darkest dark before the Light and the Universe laughs at us maniacally and shows us even darker, even more horrifying.
Yet and still, you know the collective shadow of humanity had to rear its ugly head or heads at some point. I say that with confidence, we cannot think we are free from the reckoning, the deepest reflections of our imbalances, our sicknesses, our negativity, our perversions, our unwillingness to give honor and name the sacred, and so on and so forth. This is not some accident. These atrocities are not accidents.
They are called forth by parts of ourselves that wish badly to see themselves reflected in our dimensions of the world, in our human dimensions of consciousness, not out of pettiness but out of necessity. On a microcosmic level, if bad behavior and violence and perversions of many kinds show up in human children, they must be seen, treated, dealt with, understood. That can be painful. Now just imagine for a moment if you have massive parts of the population that never got seen, helped, treated and never integrated themselves within the systems of Gaia.
They never admit they are part of Earth, her eco-systems, her fundamental power to shrug us off anytime she feels like it, sort of like a shawl she is wearing, and she feels too warm now, so she needs to shed a layer. That layer is US, it is the whole human race and maybe other species that live here too.
In order to co-exist successfully on Gaia, the pain cannot be suppressed. This clearly makes her furious. Whether the deity who wants her children healed is Jesus, Mary, God, a different God, many Gods, Mother Earth, we do not have a definitive way to come to agreement and consensus among us. So we turn to what feels true to each of us, we pray about it in the way that feels true and these actions are felt between, within and through the veils of consciousness. So do just that and we can swing ourselves and this world back into balance. I will keep reminding all of us.
Yet and still, you know the collective shadow of humanity had to rear its ugly head or heads at some point. I say that with confidence, we cannot think we are free from the reckoning, the deepest reflections of our imbalances, our sicknesses, our negativity, our perversions, our unwillingness to give honor and name the sacred, and so on and so forth. This is not some accident. These atrocities are not accidents.
They are called forth by parts of ourselves that wish badly to see themselves reflected in our dimensions of the world, in our human dimensions of consciousness, not out of pettiness but out of necessity. On a microcosmic level, if bad behavior and violence and perversions of many kinds show up in human children, they must be seen, treated, dealt with, understood. That can be painful. Now just imagine for a moment if you have massive parts of the population that never got seen, helped, treated and never integrated themselves within the systems of Gaia.
They never admit they are part of Earth, her eco-systems, her fundamental power to shrug us off anytime she feels like it, sort of like a shawl she is wearing, and she feels too warm now, so she needs to shed a layer. That layer is US, it is the whole human race and maybe other species that live here too.
In order to co-exist successfully on Gaia, the pain cannot be suppressed. This clearly makes her furious. Whether the deity who wants her children healed is Jesus, Mary, God, a different God, many Gods, Mother Earth, we do not have a definitive way to come to agreement and consensus among us. So we turn to what feels true to each of us, we pray about it in the way that feels true and these actions are felt between, within and through the veils of consciousness. So do just that and we can swing ourselves and this world back into balance. I will keep reminding all of us.
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
Reality Time
Part 1
Writer Coach Connection is a real volunteer organization I worked for, and I had a badge and everything. I went back to my old high school, which has been remodeled, and sat down with students to help them with writing. I had no other job and was counting on a testimonial for my resume.
My badge said my name, and that I was a "Contractor" This sounds better than "Volunteer".
By the time I was about to move on, I asked the Director, let's call her Eileen Mickson, for a few helpful words on my resume or testimonial.
She refused to give me a referral or a good word and refused to tell me why, only to allude at it being some thing I did wrong with students.
She never stopped me while I was working with students, so she exploited my time and services, and then let me go without telling me why or the equivalent of severance pay, which would be a few good words about my work.
She has no reason to deny me the acknowledgement for my good work, I still have handwritten notes from 9th graders who really liked working with me. Eileen will have a chance now to right her wrong. Obviously, she has been wrong all these years. She must want redemption.
I ran into her today and it triggered me. I wanted to let her have it, but instead I gave her my business card, which I feel was the Great Spirit intervening and guiding me.
Writer Coach Connection is a real volunteer organization I worked for, and I had a badge and everything. I went back to my old high school, which has been remodeled, and sat down with students to help them with writing. I had no other job and was counting on a testimonial for my resume.
My badge said my name, and that I was a "Contractor" This sounds better than "Volunteer".
By the time I was about to move on, I asked the Director, let's call her Eileen Mickson, for a few helpful words on my resume or testimonial.
She refused to give me a referral or a good word and refused to tell me why, only to allude at it being some thing I did wrong with students.
She never stopped me while I was working with students, so she exploited my time and services, and then let me go without telling me why or the equivalent of severance pay, which would be a few good words about my work.
She has no reason to deny me the acknowledgement for my good work, I still have handwritten notes from 9th graders who really liked working with me. Eileen will have a chance now to right her wrong. Obviously, she has been wrong all these years. She must want redemption.
I ran into her today and it triggered me. I wanted to let her have it, but instead I gave her my business card, which I feel was the Great Spirit intervening and guiding me.
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